January 14th letter continued:
Wednesday Morning
Lots better this morning. Thought I would let you know before I sent this letter. Needless to say, I have been sleeping in the flat since Sunday and not in the shelter. Of course, there was a bit of a scene. Fear is a personal matter and other people should not be afraid for you. She cannot, or at least finds it difficult to understand, that I have as great a faith in my safety in one place as another. That there is no shelter at the depot and when I am there and able to sleep, I fall off to the sound of guns and usually awake to hear them still firing. However, I got my way and hence my recovery. A mattress on a concrete floor, even in a dry cellar, is not my idea of proper treatment for the state I was in three days ago. Far better to be comfortable and take the risk. As it happened, I was lucky again. Since Sunday it has been quiet. I am going to the studio to get my letters this afternoon. Will write again on Friday when I send the money.
All my love,
Clifford
Journal Entry
January 15, 1941
Putney. Still here, and although far better my headache persists. It has been snowing nearly all day.
Reread Conrad's Under Western Eyes. Terrific. I was too young to understand the greatness of it when I first read it in my twenties.
Three days stuck in one room! And yet the time has gone quickly. What an eternity one day at the depot can be!
How I long to get back to work again. Real work, my own work. I wrote to Marion a long letter yesterday, which I have not posted yet. I told her how bored I was. That I had passed through my early feelings of indignation, horror and pity, to find only boredom and stupidity.
Reconsidering this I still think it's substantially true. Yet there are exciting moments. The night continues to fascinate me, and riding on top of a bus through the darkened streets lit up now and again by the flashes of guns still remains thrilling.
But then with me everything I write is true, emotionally true, at the time I write it.
Letters to Marion
16 January, 1941
Thursday
Dearest Mog,
I am back here again. Today, I got your two letters this morning as I went to the studio for them before coming on here. I feel a lot better but still in need of rest, heaps of it. The most difficult thing to get these days.
You are wrong about the 23rd being a Sunday, it will be today week, next Thursday. I asked about my leave this morning and I will be able to take it as arranged. So I will be in Dorchester next Thursday and I will tell you the time when I write again at the end of this week. I will be going to get my ticket after pay, tomorrow.
I am very worried to hear that things are getting so difficult with you, but I understand the whole position only too well. If the farm project comes off the cottage idea should solve the problem; if mot make up your mind and go to Cecily, although I think the cottage would work out best. I do think, very decidedly, that fifteen shillings a week, even furnished, is too much to pay. I should hardly think that Peter and Pearl would want to make a big profit out of you being there. I should say ten shillings would be much fairer. I hope you will be able to get the warcase money*, after the long interval, however, we will do our best to get it through. Persistence is the only way to deal with officialdom. It's the system not the people administering it that one has to fight. I have proved that more than once. We will be able to have a good talk about it next week.
*Clifford appears to have written "warcase money" here, but warcase was not a term in official use. It might be a reference to some sort of separation payment available to the families of ARP members who were having to live apart due to the war.
I had a thoroughly unsatisfactory reply from Rugby, the committee trying to cheapskate. I wrote saying I would not go on with the idea and that has brought them round. A letter this morning agreeing to me terms. Also, a good mention in The Times of the Leger show. I was pleased with it, particularly as Marriot retired some months before Christmas.
Otherwise no news. I a have been out of action completely for nearly a week.
Mother was very pleased with your letter and says she will reply to it soon. She is quite well, I am glad to say. Also heard from Stanley that his offer had been turned down. I am phoning him this afternoon.
I will send the books off to Winifred for you as soon as I can get round to it.
Will be writing again on Sunday.
All my love to you and Julian,
Clifford
19 January, 1941
Sunday
Dearest Mog,
Thanks for your letter with your cheque.
I am feeling fairly well but still rather lacking in energy. I should be all; right in a couple more days.
I have got a portrait to paint when I come back, 18"x14", only five pounds, but a very interesting head and may lead to others.
All my love to you and a kiss for Julian. Looking forward to seeing you on Thursday, usual place, 3.56.
All my love once more,
Clifford
Journal Entry
January 21, 1941
National Gallery to see Lillian Browse. Showed her my recent drawings. Said she really thought a lot of them and kept a number to show to Sir Kenneth Clark.
Lunch together in the canteen at the gallery. I had not seen so much good food, beautifully served, for months. Four kinds of salad, perfect spaghetti, and actually meringues and cream - lots of lovely whipped cream - synthetic no doubt, but good all the same. I felt civilized again and thoroughly enjoyed it all. The civil servants certainly do themselves proud. Our canteen food is, for me, almost uneatable. But then, naturally, I am fussy.
Saw a number of very lovely Conders in the Gallery - oils - extremely personal. Also, was shown a couple of recent John drawings. Good, but they are only weak imitations of himself. One is of three nudes, in red chalk, bathing, and one of a baptism by the side of a river with a large crowd looking on.
Letters to Marion
25 January, 1941
Chelsea - Saturday
Dearest,
I got back on Friday about 8.30; it was damned cold and the bus got stuck on a hill and so was late.
Last night was not good but one could hardly expect anything else this weather, however, here are the very small *results. Better next time I hope but I did find time to do a nice drawing for myself.
*This sentence suggests Clifford sent some little sketches to Marion with this letter. If he did these are no longer with the letter, and neither is the card from Chateil he mentions below. However, a press cutting from The Sketch about the Chelsea stretcher party putting on a Christmas play was found in the envelope with the letter.
The Tigers and Sylphides are both in the RA so that is fine so far, now let's hope we can sell one. Saw Bill last night, his Christmas I understand was somewhat overshadowed by Fred.
I have not had any luck yet with the batteries but I will keep on trying and will see if I can find some in Hammersmith this afternoon. Ted will most likely know where to get them. He is usually good at such things. Michael's address is 73 Finborough Road, SW10. I hope the weather breaks soon. I must admit it is on the chilly side at present.
This card came from Chateil. Keep it because I think it is very sweet. Someday I hope we will all go there and I expect she would not mind looking after Julian now and again, which would be useful when we wanted to go out.
I will tell you all about the exhibition when I write again. The varnishing day is on Monday. I do wish you could see it but never mind I am determined to have lots more there in times to come.
I did enjoy being with you and I was very happy to see that you looked just like my beautiful Mog once more and that Julian is so attractive - because I really think he is.
Write soon. All my love to you both,
Clifford
P.S.
Just got the batteries. Hope they are the right ones. I think I will be able to get more from the same place when you want them.
28 January, 1941
Dearest Mog,
Got back safely. No News. Here is a note from P J. I am sorry, I opened it in a bad light. Also, a letter from Devereux. Pathetic. Thought you might like to read it. Will you send it back sometime?
Latest news. Rosslyn, sculptor died last week. Mrs Rosslyn married *Dr Bunt White last Friday.
*Possibly this Dr Bunt White
I feel so much better for having seen you again and I did not want to come back here.
Lots of love top you and Julian. I have really fallen for him.
Will write again end of the week. Love to Pearl.
Clifford
Devereux's letter
No. 992852 Sgt (A.C.) Devereux B,
R.A. Clerks' School,
No. 1, Gummer Lane,
Woolwich, S.E.18.
Dear Mr Hall,
You know, I've often wondered how you're getting on, and Mrs Hall and the baby. But I've not ventured to write, thinking that you might not reply almost at once and your letter being, so far as I'm concerned, for ever lost. My movements have been very unsteady; I've hopped about from place to place and many letters have never caught up with me. But now I'm slightly more settled.
How are you getting on?
It will be an exceedingly great pleasure to me to have done with the war and to get back to some painting, I sketch a lot - people's heads most of the time - and I'm never hard up for sitters. People praise my work and I pass on the praise to you.
Since the army grabbed me, I've been to Gosport, to Woolwich once before, and to Ireland twice. Ireland is full of lovely scenery. I've grown sick of tramping about with a heavy kit-bag on my shoulder and am happy to be settled for a time.
At the present moment I'm recovering from bad bruising. A bomb caused the side of a house to fall upon me. I was excavated out of the debris and spent a week in hospital. It was horrible. Now I'm merry. How glad I shall be when the war's over!
If I can, I'll come to see you but my off-time is in bits and pieces none of which is really long enough to cross London.
Please pass on my best wishes to Mrs Hall and the baby.
Good luck,
B Devereux
Letters to Marion
31 January, 1941
My dearest Mog,
I hope you got my last letter. I am looking forward to hearing from you and hope your cold is quite better now. I feel very well although the weather is particularly lousy.
I am starting the portrait on Sunday. I have several things that should come to something - at least one of them.
I sent the two books to Winifred, not the one with the torn back, and I hope they are the ones she wanted. Anyway they are the only ones I could find. The light is wretched. I have taken down all the blackout and it is still bad.
I hope Julian is well.
I was so sorry to leave you both but all I can do now is look forward to seeing you again.
All my love,
Clifford
3 February, 1941
Dearest Mog,
I was glad to get your letter, but worried to hear that you are not well. You must let things go a bit and get better. I only sent the 2/6 because I guessed you would be hard up having to pay for the gloves. Anyway, I will be able to send you £2 soon.
My visit to the National Gallery had results not so good as I hoped but still I am very pleased. I had a letter from the Ministry of Information, yesterday, to say that they would buy two of my drawings for 2½guineas each. I suppose they will be included in the war show at the gallery. One you saw, of the men digging, a man on either side of the crater looking on, and two dead 'uns in the foreground.
The other is one I did more recently, of three homeless people looking at the ruins of the street in which they lived. A very good one. Stark, not sentimental. I know you will be glad about this. The money is poor but it is another step in the direction I have always aimed at, and so it has cheered me up.
Also, it seems as if trois ballet is going to be produced and I am seeing him about it this week. He says he is now satisfied and if the directors don't like it he will walk out. Just like a dancer, but the method often pays. I have begun to prove it myself. So I may have to do some more work on the designs.
In the meantime the war goes on but as I told you I have lost interest in it. Other things are so much more exciting. Also we hope to do a review in the depot in March, and that will mean a lot more work. So much better than doing nothing.
Do look after yourself. I hope I will get the money quickly. You must get yourself what you need.
All my love to you and Julian.
Clifford
Journal Entry
February 4, 1941
A letter on Saturday from the Ministry of Information. They will buy two of my drawings for five guineas the two. Not much of a price, but I am pleased about it all the same. And they did choose two of the best.
Started a portrait of Ivan Hirschler last Sunday. Nervous about it. Had not painted a head since last August, however, it commenced well.
Made two pen and wash sketches today. Recent depression due to before and after effects of influenza and not enough work, that is, painting.
Intensely interested in everything again.
Rugby, show fixed satisfactorily on the 29th March. They doubled their last offer.
I made up my mind to have nothing to do with Ala Story's offer. I would have had to do all the paying and take all the risk whilst she stands to lose nothing.
Blitz
CLIFFORD HALL'S JOURNAL ~ 1939 - 1942 P15
including letters written to his wife Marion and some other correspondence
Letters to Marion
4 February, 1941
Dearest,
Here are many happy returns of next Saturday for you. Will you get something for yourself with this and don't spend it on anything else, because as I told you in my last letter, I will be sending you a couple of pounds soon which will help you with P J's bill.
I made a start on the portrait last Sunday. A good start. I was surprised that I had not got more out of practice.
I hope you are feeling better. You must take care of yourself. There is no news at the moment and things have been reasonably quiet in Chelsea. It si still blasted cold but I have got a little coal. Any sort of fuel is terribly difficult to get. Seems just as bad as it was last winter.
I wish I could be with you again but I never doubt that we will get everything as we want it eventually.
With lots of love,
Clifford
9 February, 1941
Dearest Mog,
I had your letter yesterday and am very glad that the move is fixed, because I know you wanted it. I will sort out all the things you want and get them packed up.
There is no caretaker in the building and I do not like the idea of leaving anything portable, like the rugs of bundles of linen in No 9 with the door unlocked. You must ask Peter to tell them that they must call on either February 24th, 26th or 28th. I will stay in all those days. It's the only way to do it. I will send you two of the rugs but I must keep one because I do have people come sometimes who might buy pictures and I don't want the place to look too bare. The building itself is in an utterly appalling state as it is, but I fear nothing will be done about that.
Whilst things remain quiet I am going back to sleep at the studio, It is completely impossible to get any proper rest at Putney and I have a terrible lot to do. The portrait, all the pictures to get ready for Rugby and some for America too. Leo is clamouring for the designs for his ballet and on top of it all there is the wretched review here with four backcloths, a transformation scene and God knows what. I tried hard to get out of doing it but there is no one else, and anyway it is better than mooching about wasting my time on duty. Also, I stipulated that this time I must get paid something for my work, if only it is a couple of guineas. Charity begins at home.
Mrs Smith has disappeared and I can't find time to go and look for her but I sweep up the place myself. Try to let me know when they will be calling for the spinet and other things. It would help. I do hope you are feeling better. It will be lovely coming to see you when we can really be alone together. I wish I could come now. I would give a lot for a real rest.
I have got the sheets, pillow slips, table cloths, curtains and eiderdown ready. - ALL CLEAN! And I will get the knives, forks and spoons ready now. And won't forget the ironing board.
All my love to you and Julian,
Clifford
11 February, 1941
Chelsea - Tuesday
Dearest Mog,
Could you draw, roughly, something like the scribble overleaf. Hair, side parting, ends fairly long and turned under.
Innocent expression.
I want it for one of the ballet designs. I have done the other but have got stuck with this. Let me have it soon if possible.
Hope you are feeling better. Have got all the stuff packed ready for when the van calls.
All my love,
Clifford
The scribble overleaf
Portrait of Ivan Hirschler by Clifford Hall (1941)
14 February, 1941
Friday
Dearest Mog,
Thanks so much for your letter with the sketch. It will be very helpful. I simply cannot realize that pretty type. I have managed the others fairly well.
I have got everything ready for Pickfords. I will be here on the 26th and 28th and I have made arrangements with Mrs Hart that she will give them the key of the studio, where everything will be ready labelled for them if they come on the 27th. I will put a note on the door for Pickfords telling them where they can get the key and asking them to return it to the estate office. Peter might write and tell them this too. I really do not like taking the risk of leaving the stuff in No.9 with the door open because there often people snooping around. I also want to save the expense of sending by the railway. It is a blasted lot of trouble not having a caretaker here now, but I think nothing can go wrong with the arrangement I have suggested.
I am very much happier now that I am back at the studio, and I have been sleeping properly. I got that I could not go to Putney night after night. I felt as if I was always on the run, hunted, and it got really impossible to work without the right atmosphere. I expect I will have to go back there when things get bad again but at the moment why not take advantage of the lull? I will try to come and see you as soon as ever it is possible. I will try to take only one day off for the Rugby trip in March and then I may be able to wrangle five days sooner than they are really due to me. It won't be easy but I will do my best.
They really should let me have them for all the all the work I will be doing for this review. Four backcloths, 18ft by 14ft to paint singlehanded and I have to make the designs first. It is a valuable experience and at least gets me away from the appalling grind of billiards, ping pong, cups of stewed tea and futile arguments about absolutely nothing at all. It was more exciting when the Blitz was going strong - but then I hated that because of all the horror and unhappiness it caused. What a mess! The world is crazy, and only the artists are sane.
I hope Leo's ballet is produced. He has stuck at it wonderfully; I saw a bit of it last week and there is no doubt that it will be extremely good. But in these wretched times anything may happen to prevent it coming off.
I saw Stanley and Harry on Wednesday last. Bill I saw too, he has had influenza pretty badly but is getting over it now.
I have not yet got me cheque for the drawings but as soon as I do, I will send you some of it.
When I packed up the knives, forks and spoons I left out two of the silver tea spoons. Could not find them at the time. If you need them, I will post them on later. There are four in the bundle.
I do hope you will like the new plan and I hope I will be able to see you there before too long.
All my love to you both,
Clifford
20 February, 1941?*
*This letter was misfiled in an envelope dated 11th April '41 but it was clearly written earlier during February the same year. 20th February seems to be the most likely date of the letter, judging by its contents.
Thursday,
My dearest Mog,
I had both your letters, one this morning and one yesterday.
I should have written before only I have had lots to do; Leger wanted the show at the end of this month and I had to persuade him to put it off until the second week in March. There will be such a lot to do when the frames come back from Rugby. All the war drawings to be mounted, fitted in, taken to the M.O.I.* and photographed**, and lots more.
The M.O.I. (MOI) was the Ministry of Information
**If the Ministry Of Information did indeed photograph all of Clifford's war drawings, it appears that they did not give him copies of most of the photos, sadly.
I am glad you are going to East Meon and will send the extra pound when I write to you again tomorrow. I am sure it will be better for you there. I will be able to send you money for P.J.'s bill about the end of this month. Of course you are very silly and quite wrong because I was happy to see you and enjoyed our day in Bournemouth particularly - even having to see dismal Freddie didn't dampen me - and that says a lot. And I am looking forward to coming to see you at East Meon at the end of May.
You are very sweet to write such things about my picture. I hope it does have all you say in it - or even some of it. Certainly, since the black out the river at night does move me very deeply. Maybe I did get something of it.
I hope your cold has gone and Julian's too. He is very lovable and I have fallen for him completely and I will be very relieved for you and him to be away from that terrible attitude towards bringing up children enforced by Peter. Julian is too intelligent for that sort of thing and you must never allow it please.
Have started the pastel and don't like the medium for such work, also thinking of the scenery and making different versions of the Sloane Square incident, now have three, the last is the best, but I have not done with it yet.
I am sorry that I had to miss seeing Fred. I wish he would let me send him a picture. I should hate trying to paint Sylvia. I could get no reaction at all and that's hell.
I hope you are using the pound dismal Fred gave you towards money next week. I will pay it back to you at the end of the month. Try to have as little trouble as possible.
Lots of love to you both,
Clifford
Thank you for the handkerchief and postcard.
PS
Try to get a room in E. Meon. Hope there are no more bombs. Fairly quiet here. One or two bad nights.
21 February, 1941
Chelsea - Friday
Dearest Mog,
I got your letter yesterday. I will try to get the morning off on the 27th. If not, I will take a chance and leave everything clearly labelled in No.9, of which the door will be open. This is the trial arrangement.
I am working pretty hard and wish I could have a real rest - but sleeping better because I get so tired. The work is going well but I hate the risk. It is unavoidable though.
I was sent for to the town hall this week. They wanted me to go to Gloucester on a gas course, all expenses paid. The idea was that I was to be pushed into the job of Gas Officer for the Depot and later for the Borough. I refused. No interest in the beastly subject. Of course, it was a big chance, in a way, but goodbye to everything that matters to me. And what good would I be when the war was over? It would have been a full-time job. Lecturing most of the time. I will not be changed into another sort of person like that. I hope you agree.
Don't worry about your money. Only I still have no cheque for my drawings. Suppose it is bound to come soon. I can only get one sitting a week for the portrait, so it will literally take a month of Sundays.
Leo was very pleased with the final designs and they are rehearsing hard. As for scenery, it is amusing to do but after nine hours of it yesterday I felt nearly dead. Can't be as strong as I used to be.
I hope you are well - you never say - wish you would. I think of you both.
All my love,
Clifford
PS
The house next to Bill's was hit on Monday. He is all right and only the kitchen was wrecked. He spent Tuesday night here and is coming again until he can find a place to go.
24 February, 1941
Monday
Dearest Mog,
I had your letter this morning - I am sure you must be busy and I am looking forward to getting your things off when Pickfords come this week. The cover to the ironing board I must post you separately. I left it out of the bundle and it is far too complicated to undo now.
You saying that you often wondered if I wanted you to be comfortable seem rather a nasty crack - although I suppose I may seem like that. I have been hoping for the last week to be able to send you some money for the extra things I know you will need. But the cheque for my drawings has not come yet. As for yours please don't worry about it. I can always manage, and I will send you the £2 each week however late your cheque may be. I would have finished the portrait by now if I didn't have to tear myself in half to try to do more work in three days than I used to do in a week. I will be done in two more sittings, but that means two weeks. And he at least will not keep me waiting. This time I have insisted on some payment for the scene painting although I only expect a nominal sum. I have been working 9 to 10 hours a day on it.
Leger wants me to have a show with him of my war drawings and is very keen on it and will provide the frames. Only I must do some more. There are not enough yet. The censor passed them all but one, Sloane Square Station; which he said, officially, had not been hit!
Often and often I wish you were here. The only thing for me is work and more work. Because then I become completely absorbed in it; ideas come so much easier than they used to and I am happy.
I want to make money for you and Julian but I will make it honestly and not with bad work, and one day I will surprise you by making it. I am quite convinced of this, and my convictions always have a way of coming to pass in the end.
I am only taking one day off to go to Rugby on the 29th March and am hoping to arrange to give a lecture there if they will pay enough. This means that I should not have to wait so long before I can come and see you in the cottage. I seriously think, about April, of seeing Castello and getting him to say I need a rest badly and then ask for a week.
All my love,
Clifford
Journal Entry
February 28, 1941
Only those we love have the power to hurt us.*
*Celia Franca married Leo Kersley on 27th February 1941. Clifford may possibly have been thinking about this and his recent infidelity when he wrote these words.
Letter to Marion
28 February, 1941
Dearest,
I had both your letter this morning - with your cheque. I do wish you would not worry yourself about it being late. I will not let you down. I got nine for the two drawings which will be in the National Gallery, and I am sending you two pounds to help with the move. I will also be paid for the portrait about the middle of the month so I will them be able to send you some more.
I could not get away yesterday although I tried. We have a number of men away ill: however. Pickfords must have called for everything had gone from No. 9. Let me know as soon as it arrives, and also if there is anything else you would like me to send.
I am working well. Did a 18 x 14 foot backcloth this week in two and a half days. My assistant is ill, but it did not make much difference. Also a good one for the Leger show. I do hope you will have less to do when you finally settle down in the cottage. I will try for that weeks leave and write about, when the time comes, and get it somehow.
I am sure Julian must be very interesting now and I am sorry I am missing it all. It looks as if he is going to be very intelligent and he will probably be catching me out before long.
Have you had time to read the 'Martyrdom of Man'?* I have got ' San Michele ' when you are ready for it. Also Samuel. But less note books. Really fine.
* A book by William Winwood Reade
Write again soon. All my love to you and a kiss for Julian,
Clifford