CLIFFORD HALL'S JOURNAL ~ 1943 - 1947 Page 5
August 14 1944
Did a good deal of work on the drawing I started last Saturday - I worked on it yesterday as well. Sketched this morning, not very good, but the subject is worth another try.
August 16 1944
Started a drawing of houses in the Kings Road yesterday and went on with it this morning. In the afternoon painted the same houses from Glebe Place. A very successful sketch, more subtle in colour than some I have done recently.
August 17 1944
Spent the morning at the drawing. Traced it and transferred it to a 14 x 10 canvas panel ready to paint, tomorrow, I hope, if it is fine.
August 18 1944
Painted the 14 x10 today. Perhaps not quite as good as the one I did yesterday afternoon, but exciting. I have seen these houses every day for more than ten years - and I have only just seen them.
September 5 1944
Very little work done since August 18th . Really ill for a week, sunstroke said the doctor. My head was frightful and my eyes. Couldn't eat. Feeling better now. Spent a few days at Christchurch with Marion and Julian. Low flying planes all day long, barking dogs, wasps and flies. Like a lunatic asylum. Had to come back to be quiet.
Yesterday I started a 24 x 20 of Cheyne Row from my drawings. Went on with it today. Don't feel quite myself yet. Still no pictures sold although I have two at the Leicester, Redfern and Leger. No flying bombs. Luckily the school does not open until the 22nd so there is still some time left.
Peter Stone lent me ten pounds and I think I will just be able to hold out until the next teaching cheque. Canvas is a shocking price and our Government has put a purchase tax on it. The Government that claims to be fighting for culture. Seems inconsistent, but then I am a hopeless idealist, still.
September 6 1944
Worked on the canvas of Cheyne Row, still drawing it, a definite improvement. I am most depressed; but it will pass, eventually.
September 7 1944
Went on with Cheyne Row.
September 8 1944
Morning made a sketch of a bullfight form some sketches I did years ago in Marseille, at Les Arènes du Prado.
Afternoon Did more to Cheyne Row
September 9 1944
Made a number of sketches for a composition of figures. Will do some more tomorrow. I would like to paint this about 30" x 20".
September 11 1944
Yesterday and today - more sketches for the picture. Coming slowly. I do not know whether I can do this one without models for at least three of the figures, possibly more. There are eleven at present although one may have to go.
September 12 1944
More sketches, but I am not working well and only one of them is any good. One out of nearly a dozen.
This is one of the days when I think I am a failure. Money is a terrible problem. I need canvas, models, coal for the winter. And money for Julian. His clothes, his school fees. Marion too. And even if I had it I would find no happiness in such a life. Little nagging worries and utter dullness. No doubt about it, I am sick of everything today. Maybe it is the frightful school which starts again next week, and I am not even decently paid for the precious time I waste there. How I detest the place and the stupid system of which it is a part. And I can see no way out, and it is, in a sense, my own fault, so I hate myself too. Time to dream, unworried, that it is as essential to me as time to work; and there is nothing peculiar in feeling as I do. I am sure of it. Antisocial is it? To hell with their society!
September 14 1944
Painted all day on the 24" x 20" of Cheyne Row. I am inclined to leave it, but I may change my mind later, yet there are many things I like about it. It is certainly better than if I had attempted to paint it from nature, and I hardly looked at my careful drawings. I had worked it out thoroughly in the squaring up. When one has really studied the thing and got a definite mood impressed on one's mind a study must not be allowed insist too much. Studies from nature should serve the purpose of making one memorize what one wants to paint. They must not be copied slavishly for mere facts. Generalize.
That figure composition is worrying me again. I was not very successful with all the sketches I made at the beginning of the week. There is something I cannot realize.
I would love to spend every day like this one, just painting. All my life.
September 15 1944
Today I managed to paint a little sketch of the composition. This sketch really has possibilities. As soon as it is possible, I will get models and start making drawings for it, only I must not copy the models. I must only take what I need. I will begin a full-size drawing soon, before I attempt to get any models. Something I can work at when I come back from that stupid school: like the big drawing of the River that I was doing last year. It would work out on a 24" x 18", or maybe a 30" x 25". I think a 30" x 25" would be better, more scope. Faces and hands on a small scale are the devil. Yes, it had better be 30" x 25", and I will start the cartoon next week. I feel better now this is settled. I have been appallingly depressed, unbearable to be with, restless, and impressed with a terrible sense of failure and frustration. It is my old complex and I continually lose it only to find it again. It has always been the same, as long as I can remember, and the cure is always the same - work. I do not look upon the time I am obliged to give to teaching as work. It is exasperating waste of time, tragic and prodigal; for the teaching I have to do could be done by any good student in his teens, and I am teaching boys who do what they delightfully call 'art' merely as a subject to help them through an exam which , if they pass, helps them to get a job in commerce or science. It is all horrible and I can see no way out. I won't become a prostitute and paint popular portraits. I can't, and I am not sorry, produce 'commercial art' , and my only chance is to fight it out in the hope that one day I will sell my pictures fairly frequently and do a little teaching - very little, and not of an elementary standard. I get so tired.
Note of the colours used for today's sketch. Ivory Black, White, Raw Sienna, Alizarin Crimson, French Blue, Viridian.
September 18 1944
Yesterday and today I have been working on the figure composition, and I am slowly beginning to see my way. I have sketched a drawing for the painting - 30" x 25".
Sales July 13 - Sept 18th
Watercolour (Dancer) £5.5.0
Wing Commander C H Schofield
7 Gt. Ormond St. W.C.1.________________
Inner Temple Lane
(Pen & wash) £5.5.0
Winnie Bretton_______________________
Jennette (Drawing) £5.5.0
F.G.Stone___________________________
10(!) little oil panels £5.0.0
Fred Roots
2 Sping St.
Rugby______________________________
Total £20.15.0
£58.5.0 less than during last summer holidays
September 19 1944
Working on the 30 x 25 drawing which I started, was it yesterday? or the day before? Anyway, I am beginning to have hopes of it, after many alterations. It has possibilities. Must paint another sketch in colour. Tomorrow. Will have to use models before I commence the large painting - for sketches, but not, I think for careful drawings. If I do that, I will lose the spirit of the thing and it must not be lost. It is all important.
September 20 1944
Painted a colour sketch for the picture.
Read article in this evening's Evening Standard by Dean Inge. Years ago I thought his writings stupid, snobbish and extremely dull. They have not changed. He actually refers to de László as a painter!
Old Mrs de Groot, my neighbour, told me of a lovely model who called to see me yesterday, when I was out. With the air of a procuress, de Groot described her: 'just eighteen, red hair, really lovely, Her little breasts stuck out like two apples. I have arranged for her to come and see you on Saturday.' And she produced an address, 'in case she is not able to come, you must write to her.'
September 21 1944
Worked at the composition.
Saw the Gyln Philpot exhibition at the Leicester Gallery and enjoyed it Rowland Suddaby exhibition at the same time. His work means nothing to me. All painted to a formula and an uninteresting one at that. Fireworks, squibs rather. He seems to have been pretty successful, in the material sense.
Evening: New Theatre with Peter Stone. Richard III*. Magnificent.
* This was a production starring Laurence Olivier, Ralph Richardson and Sybil Thorndike.
Teaching starts tomorrow. It depresses me more and more. At last I feel trapped, and I am running round, mentally, trying to find a way out; and I had lost a precious half day which now leaves me only two days a week for painting, Saturday and Sunday. The other five must be wasted to make only just enough money to keep going, always anxiety about money, paying models, buying canvas - But I must not give up. Never.
September 23 1944
Still at the composition. Mrs de Groot's discovery called, not so exciting, but I think she can sit for one or two of the figures, next Saturday.
September 24 1944
Painted (14 x 10) two lovely yellow pears and an apple. Crimson background. I enjoyed it.
September 30 1944
Model. Three drawings for the picture. Only one has the feeling I want. Dissatisfied.
July 1 1944
Started drawing of Oakley Street. Bombs continue to fall at intervals. About eight so far, 5.45pm. Last night was pretty fierce. The weather is still as bad as it could be - low cloud and rain.
July 2 1944
Did a s much as a thought was necessary to the drawing of Oakley Street. This makes seven good ones of Chelsea. I want at least twenty-five. There are two of Church Street I must do and even the Chelsea Palace looks lovely on the right evening, also the King's Road from outside the Six Bells, looking west towards a huge fantastic tree. This too only becomes significant in an evening light.
Raids continue. All last night, at intervals, and most of the morning.
July 4 1944
Thanks to the raids I am getting a lot of free time from the school. Was able to get away by 11 this morning. Did a drawing of Dovehouse Street (Arthur Street). Gave me a bit of trouble but I got it in the end. This makes eight. Must do some drawings in Pimlico. Magnificent, decayed streets are there, wide and beautifully proportioned; now literally falling to pieces, plaster flaking off, making fantastic façades.
July 6 1944
Spent the morning on the Common sketching. Saw Lionel Ellis go by with three young girls, all on horseback. One hour's work at the school in the afternoon.
Evening, Reg Reynold's came. Says he can't work. Fine sunny day and few bombs. Two very close yesterday. Private view (yesterday) Leicester Gallery, almost deserted - and I was hoping to sell some of my pictures. I like Reynolds.
Letter this morning from Celia. Could she come to see me? Had wanted to for a long time and hadn't liked to ask.! Silly girl. I replied Sunday, more out of curiosity than anything else. There is never any way back.
July 8 1944
Cycled to Pimlico intending to draw one of the streets I saw some weeks ago with Hanna. But they were badly knocked about by blasts from recent raids. They depressed me. Came home and worked at a drawing of a bill poster high up on a ladder, silhouetted against the sky. This was something I had seen yesterday as I walked down Manresa Road, and made a scribble of.
July 9 1944
Afternoon, worked pretty hard at a drawing. Evening, Celia came. It is all very curious. She should have come before. I think it is too late. I made no arrangement to see her again, but I said she was to let me know if she wanted to see me.
July 12 1944
Painted a nice little sketch of the river. Three or four bombs fell, none of these very near.
Peter Stone bought a drawing of Jeanette and I am selling a watercolour of a dancer to a friend of Beadles. Then there is the street I started last Sunday, if it is approved. The three will make fifteen pounds - all framed and mounted. Really far too cheap. I must get at least another twenty five pounds soon If I am to go away, give Marion some extra money and buy some canvas.
July 14 1944
Worked at the 20" x 16" canvas of Cheyne Row and improved it, I think. School closed yesterday, until Sept. 8th. Excellent.
July 15 1944
Went on with the drawing of the street. Three bombs, and I saw the smoke from one of them.
July 16 1944
Still drawing the street.
July 17 1944
Bought 2 canvases and 3 canvas boards. £1! Prepared them grey. Turpentine. Made a little alteration to the drawing.
Roots* offered to buy ten little panels at ten shillings each. A knock out price indeed, but I have looked out fourteen for him to choose from, and cleaned and varnished them all. He will certainly have to take at least ten if he gets them so cheaply.
* Roots may possibly be the little-known British artist, Fred W. Roots, who was active from 19471961 according to his profile on the ArtUK website here
That will make £20. I still need at very least twenty more - even then it will be difficult to last out until September.
The lovely John Lewis Brown of a woman on horseback is at the Leicester Gallery. They are asking two hundred pounds for it. I could have had it for twnety five, but then I would not have wanted to sell it again.
July 18 1944
Made a drawing of Dovehouse Street (Arthur Street). Rather wild but not bad. Something there.
July 19 1944
Another drawing of the same street - not a good one but just right for tracing onto a panel.
July 20 1944
Lots of flying bombs last night. Slept badly and did not feel much like work today.
Took the first three chapters of Greaves to Faber. Prepared the panel for tomorrow, if sunny. Did a little work on a drawing. Also went to M.O.I and had my sketching permit renewed, after submitting recent sketches. What a solemn farce they make of it.
Saw dear Hanna off at Euston.
July 22 1944
Started a drawing of Cheyne Row.
July 23 1944
Painted an 18" x 14" sketch of a view of the King's Road. It has faults but it is exciting and I will let it stand. Really, I care less and less for facts in a painting, it is the feeling that matters. With a drawing it is different, facts matter, particularly if the drawing is a study for a painting, but God help you if you only get facts on your canvas when you come to use the drawing.
Now I have used the two canvases I bought, I must sell another painting or something and buy some more canvases. I would like fifty. I still have a number of panels.
July 24 1944
Worked at the small painting of Dovehouse Street.
Afternoon, went on with drawing of Cheyne Row.
July 25 1944
Completed painting of Dovehouse Street. Quite successful. Worked in the drawing of Cheyne Row, in the afternoon. This still wants a lot more doing to it.
July 26 1944
Started another painting of Dovehouse Street - 14" x 10"
July 27 1944
Worked on a drawing of Cheyne Row
July 28 1944
Went on with the painting of Dovehouse Street. I think it will do now.
'Is that my 'ouse, number 41 you are painting?'
'Yes.'
'If I'd known I'd 'ave put up clean curtains.'
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Oakley Street can be traced from my drawing on to a panel, and painted in an evening light, when the sky is lower in tone than the stucco houses that come about halfway down the street on the left-hand side.
July 29 1944
Started the 14" x 10" panel of Oakley Street. This is going to be a difficult job on such a small scale. It must be painted with an evening light and a good sky.
July 30 1944
Finished drawing in Oakley Street, with coloured turpentine. Must wait now for just the right evening to paint it.
July 31 1944
Made another careful drawing of Cheyne Row, with particular attention to the trees. I hope to work out a painting of this subject about 30" x 22". Must now paint a good sketch for the colour.
Dovehouse Street, Chelsea, by Clifford Hall
August 1 1944
Finished drawing 16" x 12" canvas panel of Cheyne Row. I want to paint this in a grey light or very weak sunlight.
August 2 1944
Painted the 16" x 12" of Cheyne Row. Started with a grey light and very soon the sun came out. It was so lovely I gave up my idea of a grey scheme and went for the sunlight. Perhaps I will do another on a grey day.
August 3 1944
Painting of Oakley Street in an evening light. Enjoyed painting it. Looked for more streets to paint in the morning. First street at the back of The Shuckburgh Arms looks very exciting. There are others round about Walton Street. All look best in sunshine.
There is no traffic in the streets I have painted and this is true in these days of petrol restrictions, nor have horses taken the place of cars to any extent, streets are often quite empty and I like them so, there is nothing to interfere with the sweep of the perspective and the lines of the kerbstone. I never saw the perfect proportion of Oakley Street before the war. You could not see it for the buses, vans and cars.
August 4 1944
Drawing of Cheyne Row, looking north. I don't know about painting this, it might be better in the morning. Must have a look.
August 6 1944
Worked on another drawing of Cheyne Row which I started yesterday, almost from the same viewpoint as the first one. Must paint an oil of the when the sun is out - about 4.30 , 2.30 GMT.
Curse this stupid altering of the clock.
August 7 1944
Went on with yesterday's drawing. A perfect day, sunshine, deep blue sky. Very few flying bombs.
August 8 1944
Painted 14 x 10 canvas panel of Cheyne Row. The two drawings were a good help.
August 9 1944
Cycled to Wimbledon Common and painted a sketch there.
August 11 1944
Did no work yesterday. Went to Leicester Gallery show, nothing of mine sold. Saw Lillian, who showed me dozens of photographs of drawings and paintings by Degas. He is truly something, a great master. Everything he touched had quality, and I am amazed at the amount of work he accomplished. Three or four lifetimes seems hardly enough. She told me what I had hoped, that she was going to open a gallery. Perhaps she will be able to sell my work and everything will come right, after all. If only I could live by painting, and perhaps just a little teaching - to pay the rent, say, not more than a couple of days a week. I must work harder.
Today I did another pen and wash study of Cheyne Row, chiefly for the lighting, proportion of figures and general effect. I should have enough now to paint the picture. Four drawings and two oil sketches for the colour.
Exactly four weeks of holiday. Let's see what I have done. 8 oils, all direct paintings, the largest 18" x 14". At least 6 drawings, quite presentable ones, also a little work on a 20" x 16". Not bad, but not enough.
August 12 1944
Started a drawing which I will finish next week, and probably use for a painting.
Late Afternoon, Cheyne Row by Clifford Hall
October 1 1944
Made very drastic alterations to the composition I am much more satisfied with it now. Hopeful again. At last I can begin to see it as a painting.
October 7 1944
Felt appallingly depressed this morning and was not able to start work until after lunch - about 2 o'clock. Left off at 6 without having much to show. I feel dull, tired, stupid. Will go on tomorrow.
October 8 1944
Worked better. The loss of Monday afternoons, worse, for I used to be back here by 12.30 pm , is tragic. It just makes all the difference. I can only hope I will get it back next term. It is possible. I must make some drawings from the model before I go any further with the cartoon. This time I can't get on without them.
October 14 1944
Painted all day and wiped off all I had done.
October 15 1944
Painted a small version - 14" x 10" - of the two dancers resting - the 24" x 18". I made slight changes in the design and very definite ones in the colour. I have enjoyed today.
Last week Lillian spoke about the gallery she is going to open in Cork Street. She proposes to have, at the start, an exhibition consisting of works by Matthew Smith, Gotlib, Pasmore, Elliott Seabrooke, Jack Yeats. She said she wished to include me, and had already spoken to the others about it. They had not heard of me. I said they probably would not want me., but she said it was not a matter entirely for them to decide, although I could expect a visit from some of them. I do hope it happens. I am delighted and worried and nervous at the idea; but I do hope. This is at a time when I am having to make an enormous effort not to give up. Five solid days a week teaching little boys is too much - artistic suicide, and this exhibition may, in the en, be the means of getting away from King's. I expect I will have to do some teaching for years and years, but please not so much. I must have more time to paint. I must. I certainly have long holidays. A complete mental somersault has to be made each time the holidays start, and it seems I am just getting right with myself when it is time to go back to school again. Utterly loathsome it is.
October 18 1944
Staying by myself at the studio for a week. Marion has Pearl with her. Last Monday about midnight I did a little more to the two dancers. I am fairly satisfied with it now.
Yesterday evening Celia was here. She is very wonderful, different and yet the same. I have started on a brief sketch of the life of Walter Greaves for a dictionary of painters Wilenski is preparing.*
* Faber & Faber, London, published An Outline of English Painting by R. H. Wilenski in 1947, but there is nothing about Walter Greaves in it, although his mentor, James McNeill Whistler, who was, of course, actually an American, is included.
October 21 1944
Continued with the Greeves. Afternoon went to the New English Private View. A most disappointing exhibition. There is a fine sea piece by Ethel Walker.
October 22 1944
Elizabeth posed in the morning and I made a fairly good drawing, the sort of drawing, if it does nothing more, gives me an idea for a painting.
After lunch I finished the article on Greaves and I will take it to be typed tomorrow.
I miss Hanna acutely. With Celia I feel I can never be more than friends. It is Hanna I continually turn towards. No one could take her place. And between me and what I perhaps only imagine to be happiness stands Duty, Conscience, what you will. And their names are Julian, Marion. It is more than that. I don't want to lose them.
October 28 1944
Painted a sketch (16 x 12) of Dorothy, the barmaid at the Crosskeys.
A newspaper clippin pasted into the journal at this point.
From The OBSERVER 12.12.43